"White Privilege & U": By a "white male cisgendered scum".
An interactive literary work done for the "oppressed" people so that they can know why they are oppressed.
Because ALL of the pretty ones SURELY must want to stop "the oppression" and believe that patriarchy is real. Only fat lying virgins believe that patriarchy doesn't exist! The majority is NOT the norm! Right?
So you wake up one morning. You get up, go to wash up in your small bathroom. You go and get dressed. You go to eat breakfast in your drab kitchen that has only one working stove. You go to work, but not before your daily dose of Tumblr. You think "God this white privileged asshole who MUST be privileged because he's white". THEN you go to work. Also bringing some 420 Yolo Swag with you. Because you lack ANY independent strength to continue on without it. You're still stronger than any man though!
As you arrive, at approximately 8:29 AM and rush to get to the office and punch in before any more time is lost for your expected arrival of 8:30 AM, you notice that your boss, who's roughly been in the business for 20+ years, is getting out of his MUCH better and fancier car. You think "WHITE CIS MALE SCUM!" because you LACK said car.
You make it to work, but a few minutes late. Your bosses boss comes to tell you that this is the 4th time you've been late this week in a row. You make the claims such as "I'm on my period please!" or "I'm menstruating" when it truth you were "rightfully" sitting on your couch and ignoring the clock. Such oppression you face. BE STRONG YOUNG PADAWAN!!!
He however lets you get to your cubicle because you're such a "strong independent woman". You type on your keyboard a little, talk a bit with friends while doing reports and spilling coffee on papers. All good stuff right? So your colleagues asks if you can deliver a paper for him since he has to go to a doctors appointment for hip surgery that's causing troubles and would leave him unable to work for a while. Sounds good right? So you take it, and say okay. Then... You deliver it to the paper shredder. How dare he try to oppress you by asking if he can receive your assistance in a teamwork environment! THE PATRIARCHY IS AT WORK!!! THE PRIVILEGE OF A CIS MALE WHITE SCUM WHO DARES TO TAKE OFF WORK FOR A SURGERY THAT YOU HELPED CAUSE WHEN YOU "PLAYFULLY" PUSHED HIM DOWN THE STAIR CASE OF THE 7TH FLOOR!!! EVIL DEMONIC MALE PIG!!!
One day you shall show he Patriarchy... Your female empowerment.
The day comes to a close for you from a "long and hard 4 hour work schedule that you asked for, for 25 dollars an hour, while the men continue to work for the same wage". You get home. You open up the check and notice something. The check is less than that of your male coworker who lives next to you!!! HALF THAT AMOUNT!!!
YOU STORM OFF TO HIS HOUSE, TAKE YOUR REMINGTON SHOTGUN AND BLOW HIS DOOR OPEN! DEMAND TO SPEAK TO HIM AND SHOW OFF YOUR BADASS BOOMSTICK! He begs to know what you're doing and why you are this upset.
All you can is speak the words "Muh patriarchy..." and you shoot his knee caps.
Later that day, you notice the police outside his house, with an ambulance wheeling away a severely injured man. The same one you shot earlier. Good job you "strong independent woman". However, you notice your other neighbor. You go out, to speak to her, but all he can do is look at you in shock. You follow him. But then come to a stop when you see him speaking to the cops. He then points his fingers at you, and the cops laugh at him and tell him to stop lying whilst a female cop tells him to shut the fuck up and tries to listen to the man. Then she comes to you, and to your surprise, your "heavenly-can-do-no-wrong" sister of goddess pride is cuffing you with you on the ground.
You ask "WHAT R U DOING TO MEH!!! PATRIARCHY!!!" and she says "You're under arrest for the attempted murder of Steve Shives. You have the right to remain silent. Anything and everything you say can and can be held against you in a court of law."
As you're dragged off into the car, you're flailing about snarling at the male cop in the car, and glistening with glee whilst crying towards the female cop who arrested you, as you ask "WHY U NO SHOW SISTERSWAG4 LIFE NIGGA!?" while thrashing about and screaming "MUH PATRIARCHY!!! MUH FEMAYL RYGHTS!!! MY MALE TEARS!!!"
What went wrong you ask.
You worked half as many hours as Mr. Steve Shives did at the office! And yet he made more! The legal system must not be paying you an hourly wage despite making 4 hourd worth of $25 an hour right!?
You shot a man! So what!? Why r u gettin arrested by duh patriarchy!?
You tell the world. Why are YOU getting arrested and being paid less for less work?